Saturday, March 31, 2007
I AM SO FAN ~!
I been thinking alot this few days , since i am sick and i rest alot at home , and i really think alot alot !
What you people know about me ? Do you really know what i am going through ? And of cause please dont assume that YOU know me well ! Cause i myself dont even know myself much ! I really hate this feeling ! It back again and again !
I dont really feel like going church anymore ! I think back , before i went church i am very happy . Hung out , although sometimes did some bad stuffs but at least it makes me happy . But now , after i went church , i dont find it interesting to me anymore ! I dont the past passion anymore ! I am so dry i can say . Anything that come from my cell group , it just will irritate me . I dont know why so dont as me why ! I really feel like becoming back the old self me ! BAD person ! I know i am bad now too but i want to be even more BAD !
Smoke and Drinking maybe suit me more for me this kind of people !
Hunging around too much with my church people might be a bad idea !
Cause i only influence them into bad and i dont want any of them to be like me esp those younger one !
My cell group leader had said something right ! I had been not able to love people anymore .
Did you all ever think? After so much effort you had done , will they appreciate ? Mostly i guess they might only take it as granted ! So forget it man !
Why cant they just dont bother me anymore ! It just irritate me .
written at 3/31/2007 02:01:00 AM
